Apr 12thI have a confession to make

In spite of how my last couple of posts may have come across, I’m not actually that bad at making friends.

That being said, I have a confession to make, albeit a fairly obvious one: I’m an Introvert.

Being an Introvert, I was a painfully shy kid, an awkward teen, and a somewhat confused and frustrated young adult. But by the time I turned 30 I finally felt not only comfortable but confident in my own skin, and what a relief that was! Oh sure, I still feel shy, awkward and frustrated a good chunk of the time, but I’ve learned how to either get past it, or just be ok with it.

As a side note, I want to mention the book “Quiet” by Susan Cain and add a lot of exclamation points behind it!!!!  HolyCrapBlewMyMind. Of course I relate to it in a way that brings me to tears, but the truly eye-opening part was learning about the physiological differences between Introverts and Extroverts, and how each personality type functions best under vastly different circumstances. Certain people in my life make soooooooo much more sense now! I’d love to elaborate on some of these ideas later on, but right now, back to the point of this post:

Making Friends

I’ve never been one of those bubbly, charismatic people who effortlessly draw others to them, like cats to a can of tuna. I’m not a big fan of large groups of people, and small talk makes me anxious. I’d much rather have a great, intimate, open-hearted conversation with one interesting person than introduce myself to 20 people at a party, thank you very much. Not that I don’t like parties, or don’t go to them, sometimes they’re the best thing ever, but I generally leave exhausted rather than invigorated. I also come across as an enigma or a mystery, and can be a bit of an acquired taste, or so I’ve been told. *shrug*

And all of that is ok, but it also means I’ve spent a lot of time being lonely. Sure, as an Introvert I love and need my alone time, but I also deeply crave connection, and that’s something you need other people for.

I had a few lightbulb moments in my 20’s, when it came to interacting with people and being lonely, and thankfully I’ve learned some tried and true techniques to making friends. Techniques that are deceptively simple, but often overlooked. Techniques that even this hard core Introvert has been able to utilize to draw some really cool people into my life.

Part Two of an upcoming How To Make Friends series coming up next, so stay tuned!