Jan 10thThe Yoga Fire
I’m not even remotely athletic, and how good of shape I’m in is highly questionable (After a hike a couple of years ago, a friend who was with me commented, “I’ve heard about people like you – you’re one of those fat skinny people!!”).. I’ve been blessed with great genetics, and a career that keeps me on my feet and moving all day every day, but overall fitness = FAIL.
Then I hit my 30’s, and all the physical capabilities I’d taken for granted for three decades suddenly weren’t so readily available: My knees started hurting when I climbed stairs. Things I’d been carrying or moving at work for years were now a struggle. I’d become winded at the slightest exertion. I had to *gasp* start asking for help!
Having never exercised, I had no idea where to start. Someone gave me a free pass to a gym – which I actually went to, once, where I promptly acquired a case of severe anxiety, and never returned.
A friend suggested I join her in a yoga class. Being kind of a hippie yoga seemed right up my alley… But the hot studio was intimidating: I’m prone to dehydration, I don’t like getting sweaty, AND HOW WOULD I KNOW WHAT TO DO?? She somehow convinced me to go with her. And then go again.
I kind of thought that once I got past my excuses, yoga and I would fall madly in love. That’s not exactly what happened. For nearly two years yoga and I had an on-again off-again relationship, and even when I was practicing semi-regularly, I never looked forward to it. In fact, when yoga came up in conversation I often admitted to not liking it! “I have to do something,” was my response to the confused expressions on their faces.
However a shift was happening: I started going to yoga even when nobody could join me, I found myself maneuvering my schedule around my favourite classes, and lo and behold, I began to notice that the poses were easier some days, my limbs seemed to be getting stronger, everyday tasks that had become a struggle no longer phased me, and I could walk into a power class in a different city while on vacation without being the least bit intimidated.
Still, I wouldn’t have described yoga as being a big part of my life.
And then, about a month ago, I dislocated a rib. There’s not even a good story to go along with my injury, but it’s prevented me from doing many things I want to do – which is incredibly frustrating.
Suddenly, now that I can’t do yoga, it’s all I want to do. Turns out I DO actually like yoga, a lot. I miss it, fiercely. Funny how that works, isn’t it? That we don’t realize how much we love something until we can’t have it. (Humans are strange creatures…)
I’m attempting to be patient while my muscles and ligaments knit themselves back together (a challenge for me), and in the interim I’m dreaming about amazing yoga sequences I want to tackle one day. Turns out I have a passion, a goal, a desire, a burning for more! And I’m gonna do it!!!! Sure, I may be 36 and a little soft around the edges, but I see ABSOLUTELY NO REASON why I can’t do the splits, or master a handstand, or touch my toes to my head:
Check out these incredible videos for more mind-blowing inspiration:
(I’m ITCHING to do some acro yoga – anybody wanna partner up with me??)
And then this = HOLY CRAP PUNCHERS
by McKinnleyNov 8thSometimes happiness CAN be bought.
What if you were at a store, picked up a scrub brush for doing the dishes, and the price tag said $12? Seems slightly outrageous, right? Ok, what if the scrub brush looked like a punk rock dude, who’s mohawk tackles your dishes?? And you just know that every time you see him chilling by your kitchen sink you’re going to grin.. Now does $12 seem worth a little extra mojo in your kitchen???
Generally, I’m not a big “stuff and things” person, I’d rather save my money, then spend it on experiences rather than fancy toys or designer clothes, just my personal preference. But I’m also not opposed to putting my money where my heart is.. and if a $12 punk rock scrub brush is going to make me legitimately happier than a $1.50 generic scrubber, then I’m in no way opposed to dishing out the cash. Sometimes a little extravagance is 100% justified.
Like on this guy:
by McKinnley
Sep 25thHow to do the things you want, even when you’re not getting what you want.
So, you know how when you start doing something, and you’re really pumped about it, and it’s going really well… and then you just stop? And you have a bajillion reasons why you’re no longer doing it, even though you still really just want to do it some more..
And then it gets to a point where it’s been so long that it feels awkward and a little embarrassing to start again? But you get over yourself and finally decide to just DO IT.
Yeah. That. Welcome back to your own blog, McKinnley.
It was a big summer and an even bigger year. I have a TON of blog ideas that I can’t wait to spew out. So what the heck has taken me so long? I dunno, I don’t have a single good excuse.
Without any further preamble:
HOW TO DO THE THINGS YOU WANT, EVEN WHEN YOU’RE NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT
I’m house hunting.
I’ve been looking for a place to call home for the last six months. And it’s exciting, but also kind of frustrating. I’m trying to be proactive and open-minded, while simultaneously being patient and making sure I stick to my “non negotiable” list. (House-hunting is a lot like dating…)
A few weeks ago I put an offer on a place. It wasn’t perfect, it needed a little TLC, but instead of that being a turn off I got really pumped about it. I started looking up painting ideas and DIY projects on Pinterest. I knew exactly what I was going to do with the kitchen (butcher block countertops, rip out that weird standing cabinet, get a smaller island), the bathroom I wasn’t as sure about, but I was still excited to figure it out.
But I didn’t get the place, instead I got frustrated and kind of bummed out. All my great ideas were now going nowhere! I started catching myself thinking things like, “It’s so disappointing to not be able to do the things I want to do,” and “When I finally get my house it’ll be awesome and so satisfying.”
So I sat myself down and asked myself, “McKinnley, owning a house is going to be really frickin’ cool, but you can’t put your life on hold until you do. So, what exactly are you looking forward to? How come you’re so stoked about the idea of projects, and so disappointed that you aren’t able to do them right now?”
My answers were fairly enlightening:
– I want to put together my surroundings perfectly so that I’m perfectly comfortable and feel right at home.
– I also kind of want to show off my work and my place.
– And I’m looking forward to the chance to be creative, and to have a fun hobby.
Well guess what? I don’t need to own a house to do or feel any of those things!! Duh!
I found a project I can do right here, right now. It satisfies all the criteria: I get to be creative, it’s both a productive and fun use of my spare time, it will make my surroundings even more enjoyable, and I can totally show it off! I’m redoing my dresser! It involves a poster, paints and quotes. It’s turning out to be far more work than I anticipated (that always seems to be how these things go), but I’m already really pleased with it.
I’m feeling a lot better about where I’m at with my house hunt. And this thought breakdown is proving pretty useful in a whole bunch of areas in my life! “But what do you really want??” THAT is the big question.
by McKinnleyMar 22ndChasing Feelings
I have a few more India and Nepal travel thoughts and tales still to post, but last week I took a little break and skipped off to Hawaii, so let’s talk about that.
Hawaii. Amazing. It was exactly what I needed. I love it when that happens.
March 11 I posted to my Facebook:
“Today. I’m so perfectly, blissfully content. I haven’t been this happy in months.”
A friend private messaged me: “Not to be rude, but were you not just traveling a bit ago? How could that be not happy?”
I wasn’t offended, in fact I was glad he’d asked: “Yes I was in India and Nepal a few weeks ago. It was an interesting trip, but sometimes cultural travel is more of an experience than a fun time. It was good, don’t get me wrong, but yesterday was filled with perfect weather, amazing food, a gorgeous hike through the forest and up a mountain to a spectacular view, a really cool fish market, tasty drinks, a fun game, lounging by the pool and some of my very favourite people ever.
I was comfortable and excited and peaceful all at once. I wasn’t lonely. I was doing exactly what I wanted and needed to be doing
The past few months have been stressful and sad and lonely… There have been good moments, but yesterday was ALL good moments, and it was very needed.”
Funny, but I didn’t realize how just OK I’d been, until suddenly I was deliciously, delightfully happy. Not that I’ve been unhappy.. The past 6 months have been tough and stressful, but I was never depressed to the point of not seeing the light, of not being able to laugh or appreciate how very much I have.
Comfortable. Excited. Peaceful. It had been awhile since I’d felt any of those things, let alone all three at the same moment.
I almost didn’t go to Hawaii. I’d only been home from my big travel for three weeks and I was just getting settled back into my cozy home life. I was doing lots of yoga and just getting my vibe (and flexibility) back after 5 weeks off. I was going to miss my drum class and a couple of practices, which really bummed me out. And work was cra-cra-craaaaazy. I didn’t see how I could leave again, nor did I want to. But, my plane ticket was already booked, so on Sunday, March 9, I got home from work at 1:45am, 15 minutes later it was 3am (thank you Daylight Savings), I haphazardly packed my suitcase then fell into bed for less than 2 hours of sleep before heading to the airport. Phew.
And then suddenly I was enveloped with perfect 23 degree sunshine, surrounded by some of my very favourite people, and spending my days doing only things I love: hiking, surfing, walking down the beach, yoga, checking out new places (the North Shore!!), playing games, reading, laying by a pool, having great conversations, cooking.. The time was busy, but completely relaxed. It was EXACTLY what I needed, and I’m so glad I went.
Back home again, the buzz has worn off a bit, but like any good drug, I’m chasing that high. I feel my best when I’m up early, accomplishing a lot, spending time in nature, and connecting with people. I can’t do much about the weather here, or the lack of surf, but I can focus on doing things that make me feel comfortable, excited and peaceful. Like drum circles. Planning dinner parties. Buying new books (E-Squared – Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality). And daydreaming about owning a surfboard, and only brushing my hair once a month.
There are always ups and downs.. It’s nice to hit a solid up though!
What feelings do you want to chase a little more in your own life? Tell me in the comments – I love conversations and connecting!
by McKinnley