Dec 8thOlder & Wiser
My sister and I had a conversation a couple of days ago, it went a little bit like this:
“Sleeping in just isn’t what it used to be, I feel awful when I sleep too late. Actually, I feel better in general if I sleep just a little less than I think I want to – I may not like it when I wake up, but I’m more awake and energetic later on.”
“Totally! The same thing with food, right? I’m finally learning to eat less, stop eating before I’m full, put things in my mouth only if they really taste good… basically I’m actually figuring out how to have a modicum of self-control, and I feel so much better when I do!”
I’m pretty sure having this kind of enthusiasm about sleeping less, eating less and mastering self-control officially makes us old. I would really hope that with the age comes some wisdom….. But I have my doubts, based on the fact that I popped a rib out a couple of days ago. How on earth does that happen? I know, I know, I actually asked my chiropractor (through my tears) how this was an actual thing…. Ok so how did I injure myself? A combination of yoga, and pushing a table two inches. Yep, there you have it, I’m officially old.
by McKinnleyNov 13thEscapism, Avoidance, and just a touch of Laziness
A few weeks ago I was on a roll: I was going to yoga 3-4 times a week, studying Spanish, drawing, working on a creative project, reading E3, cooking, listening to Tim Ferriss interviews, and generally being hyper-productive. I felt great, and the more I did, the better I felt.
Fast forward to this week… I have NO IDEA what the hell happened, but suddenly you couldn’t drag me to yoga if your life (or mine) depended on it, I wasn’t reading, listening to or learning anything, and I had so many tasks to accomplish for work that I was completely overwhelmed and instead of tackling anything I simply did nothing.
Seriously. For an entire week I did only what I absolutely had to, and then proceeded to avoid anything else even remotely productive. I hate to admit it, but there was more than one night where I sat in my bed watching Gossip Girl on Netflix and consuming entire bags of chips. Not pretty, I know.
Why? You might be wondering, why the sudden – and somewhat dramatic – lifestyle shift? I have no frickin’ clue. Changing weather? Shifting hormones? Minor emotional ordeal thrown in my path? Or maybe my completely irritating subconscious was all, “Woah, what’s with all this ‘Full steam ahead’? Who knows what we’re going to accomplish if we keep this up?! I think it’s best if we just play it safe and tone things down a bit.” My subconscious is kind of an annoying pussy sometimes.
But I didn’t beat myself up this past week. I tried to coax myself into being a somewhat credible human being, and when that just wasn’t happening I gladly, and only slightly guiltily, shrugged it off and just enjoyed the indulgences. Oh yeah, there was also a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Half Baked in there somewhere…….
After 36 years of hanging out in this brain and body, I know myself pretty well, and I was fairly confident that the slump wouldn’t last long nor be overly detrimental. I was right, as per usual. Yesterday I took a minor detour from my errands to get my heart rate pumping, today I went for a massage, spent 5 hours tackling a work project that’s been looming over me, hit a great yoga class, and now I feel like a million bucks, totally refreshed, ready to rumble, and wondering what all the mental fuss was about.
Sometimes you really have to go with the flow, be gentle, be cool, and patiently chill out during the flats while you wait for the next set to roll in. Mmmmmm, surf.
by McKinnleyNov 8thSometimes happiness CAN be bought.
What if you were at a store, picked up a scrub brush for doing the dishes, and the price tag said $12? Seems slightly outrageous, right? Ok, what if the scrub brush looked like a punk rock dude, who’s mohawk tackles your dishes?? And you just know that every time you see him chilling by your kitchen sink you’re going to grin.. Now does $12 seem worth a little extra mojo in your kitchen???
Generally, I’m not a big “stuff and things” person, I’d rather save my money, then spend it on experiences rather than fancy toys or designer clothes, just my personal preference. But I’m also not opposed to putting my money where my heart is.. and if a $12 punk rock scrub brush is going to make me legitimately happier than a $1.50 generic scrubber, then I’m in no way opposed to dishing out the cash. Sometimes a little extravagance is 100% justified.
Like on this guy:
by McKinnley
Nov 7thSpiritualized
If you haven’t read Pam Grout’s “E-Squared” or “E-Cubed,” you should.
In E2 there’s a paragraph that brings me to tears every time I read it. It’s a quote from Charles Proteus Steinmetz:
“The greatest discovery and development of the coming years will be along spiritual lines. Here is a force which history clearly teaches has been the greatest power in the development of man and history, and yet we have been merely playing with it and have never seriously studied it as we have physical forces. Some day people will learn that material things do not bring happiness and are of little use in making men and women creative and powerful. Then the scientists of the world will turn their laboratories over to the study of the spiritual forces. When this day comes, the world will see more advancement in one generation than it has in the past four.”
I think it moves me so much because it’s something I so fully believe, that I’ve experienced myself, that I continue to delve into, and that I am sooooo eager to see the world understand and embrace. It’s something I want to be a bigger part of.
My own spiritual lightbulb went off about seven years ago, when I started studying Reiki. It was an incredible feeling, like all of a sudden everything just made sense. Since then, I find pretty much anything having to do with the energy force surrounding and flowing through us, absolutely fascinating. From books to training to documentaries, Quantum Physics to shamanic practices, I love them all.
My life only gets bigger and better with every year, and I truly can’t wait to see where the next year will take me! Adventures in life, love, spirituality, work and manifesting, I’m ready for them all.
by McKinnleyNov 4thGypsy Blood & Itchy Feet
Nothing gets me more excited in a conversation, than talking about Travel. Particularly when the person across from me loves travel adventures as much as I do.
This semi-regular guy was in the bar last night, and he seemed really keen to chat.. Much to my delight he had travel on his mind. We talked about wanting to know other cultures, see exotic sights, experience how other people live – how it builds empathy, and character, how it broadens your mind quicker and wider than anything else.
We talked about eating culturally, delving into the street foods and favourite local fare, how you experience so much through the flavours of a city.
And we agreed that there’s nothing quite like the rush of touching down on foreign soil, excited to explore, with this burning desire to know and feel and taste and experience everything you can in that place, as fully as you can, to soak it into your soul like the desert after a rain.
I once had a friend ask me, after I’d been traveling for a couple of months, what I did all day. I was stunned. What do you MEAN, what do I do all day?! I go hiking, I take cooking classes, I visit tiny villages, I tour the important sites, I find the best smoothie place in town, and the best coffee place, and frequent the corner with the guy who has the best fried chicken stall. I swim, snorkle, read, get massages, create elaborate journal entries, write postcards, eat fresh seafood with my toes in the sand, party, volunteer, learn how to massage, surf, watch dolphins in the bay, tour wineries, enjoy lady boy shows, shop, marvel at ancient ruins, play Crib, zipline over jungles, toboggan down volcanoes, learn new words – particularly “hello” “please” and “thank you.” I converse with locals. I connect with fellow travelers. Sometimes I take lots of pictures, other times I take none. Whenever possible I choose boat as my mode of transportation. And on those long boat rides I play the “Would You Rather….” game with other passengers, because getting to know like-minded people in an unconventional place and unconventional way is always worthwhile.
It would be false of me to state that there’s never a dull moment while traveling, because there are plenty of those, but there’s not a lot of boredom. There’s something so exhilarating about waking up every morning and saying, “What shall I do today?” and then going and doing it, with no inhibitions or constraints.
Oh man, I’m getting seriously itchy feet!!! Sorting out some winter getaway adventures is an absolute necessity..
by McKinnleyNov 2ndNonstop November
If you want to get better at something, you have to do it, often. Some days and some practices are going to be easier than others, but every effort is worthwhile.
For the month of November I’ve decided to post a blog entry every day. I have no idea what I’m going to publicly post about on a daily basis! But I imagine I’ll figure something out, and trust that with practice this will get easier (and I’ll also get better at it!)
Since yesterday I started talking about sending intentional energy out into The Universe, I think I’ll continue on that topic.
I’ve recently learned that The Universe is actually a really good listener. She’s also very literal. And has a hysterical sense of humour. Awhile back I kept saying I just wanted to find a guy that I could communicate with, that was all I wanted. And I met a couple of guys who were excellent communicators, really open and willing to talk about anything and everything. As a bonus I had a fair bit in common with each of them, and enjoyed their company. However, I’m kind of in the market for a romantic relationship, and there just wasn’t much chemistry happening for me, no matter how much I wanted it to be there.
So, I was all, “Hey Universe! I’d like to meet a guy who’s really good looking.” Wham bam! Shortly thereafter I met a guy at a concert, a really REALLY good looking guy. Who was really into me. However, he’s ten years my junior, and we have absolutely nothing in common. Good one, Universe, good one.
Last weekend I was in Vancouver for my birthday (and it was glorious!!). On Friday afternoon I was enjoying a long walk while I waited for my friend to finish work, and as I walked I was pondering these scenarios, and decided to have a very specific chat with The Universe. “Hey Universe, I appreciate that you’ve been listening to my desires, you’ve given me exactly what I’ve asked for, so I’m going to ask again: I’d really like to meet a guy who’s a stellar communicator, who I’m wildly attracted to, who I have a lot in common with, and who feels the same about me. Cool?”
I kid you not, less than 5 minutes later I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to see a tall, dark, handsome and well-dressed stranger smiling at me. I almost laughed out loud. “I like your pants,” he compliments me. We chat. He says he knows the best gelato place in the city and asks if I’d like to go get some. Some company and a delicious treat while I walk is exactly what I’d like. I order the Texas Pecan with Vanilla and Sour Cherry, it’s as good as he said it would be. We walk by the ocean. He’s funny and we converse easily. When we near my destination he tells me to get in touch when/if I return to Van, and we part ways.
Guess I should’ve mentioned that I’d like a guy who lives in the same city as me.
As much as I have no desire to chronicle my dating debacles here, I loved the responsiveness of The Universe in this area of my life. It’s helped me to focus in on what I REALLY want, both in a partner, and many other things. It’s also shown me with blinding clarity just how potent my thoughts can be, and how easily I can direct my energy. Now to keep practicing!! I’m fascinated to see what The Universe will help me to create in my life next.
by McKinnleyNov 1stMo money! Mo money!
The more I learn about The Universe, or the field of potentiality, as Pam Grout calls it, the more excited I get. It’s not so much finding out how The FP has my back – all our backs – all the time, and how the energies that spin in and around us all can be tweaked to spin in very specific directions, directions of our choosing, it’s being surprised to discover that I already knew all of this. Or at least most of it.
I keep hearing talk of money. About clearing your money blocks. About how believing you don’t have enough money, and will never have enough, is actually making it true. But how do you tell yourself that you’ve got enough money, when you really don’t? I’m not sure about that..
But the other day I recalled how the religion I grew up in asked every member to donate 10% of their earnings to the church. 10% is no small thing to ask. It takes commitment and dedication, but most of all it takes belief. Time and again I heard anecdotes of people who paid their 10%, even when they were afraid they wouldn’t be able to make ends meet, but believing that The Universe (or god) would have their back, and every time, when it came right down to it, they would find out that they had enough, or somehow they would receive enough.
Evidence of The Universe at work, that I saw happening from a very early age, but which I never fully understood. Now I understand, and I don’t need to set out to prove it, because I’ve seen how it works. And I’ve seen it work in my own life, at a much less intentional level. Upon reflection I realized that whenever I start getting uptight and afraid about money, it suddenly seems like I don’t have enough. But when I’m confident about money and know that I have more than enough, it’s always true.
Now, what other beliefs can I call into action?
by McKinnleySep 25thHow to do the things you want, even when you’re not getting what you want.
So, you know how when you start doing something, and you’re really pumped about it, and it’s going really well… and then you just stop? And you have a bajillion reasons why you’re no longer doing it, even though you still really just want to do it some more..
And then it gets to a point where it’s been so long that it feels awkward and a little embarrassing to start again? But you get over yourself and finally decide to just DO IT.
Yeah. That. Welcome back to your own blog, McKinnley.
It was a big summer and an even bigger year. I have a TON of blog ideas that I can’t wait to spew out. So what the heck has taken me so long? I dunno, I don’t have a single good excuse.
Without any further preamble:
HOW TO DO THE THINGS YOU WANT, EVEN WHEN YOU’RE NOT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT
I’m house hunting.
I’ve been looking for a place to call home for the last six months. And it’s exciting, but also kind of frustrating. I’m trying to be proactive and open-minded, while simultaneously being patient and making sure I stick to my “non negotiable” list. (House-hunting is a lot like dating…)
A few weeks ago I put an offer on a place. It wasn’t perfect, it needed a little TLC, but instead of that being a turn off I got really pumped about it. I started looking up painting ideas and DIY projects on Pinterest. I knew exactly what I was going to do with the kitchen (butcher block countertops, rip out that weird standing cabinet, get a smaller island), the bathroom I wasn’t as sure about, but I was still excited to figure it out.
But I didn’t get the place, instead I got frustrated and kind of bummed out. All my great ideas were now going nowhere! I started catching myself thinking things like, “It’s so disappointing to not be able to do the things I want to do,” and “When I finally get my house it’ll be awesome and so satisfying.”
So I sat myself down and asked myself, “McKinnley, owning a house is going to be really frickin’ cool, but you can’t put your life on hold until you do. So, what exactly are you looking forward to? How come you’re so stoked about the idea of projects, and so disappointed that you aren’t able to do them right now?”
My answers were fairly enlightening:
– I want to put together my surroundings perfectly so that I’m perfectly comfortable and feel right at home.
– I also kind of want to show off my work and my place.
– And I’m looking forward to the chance to be creative, and to have a fun hobby.
Well guess what? I don’t need to own a house to do or feel any of those things!! Duh!
I found a project I can do right here, right now. It satisfies all the criteria: I get to be creative, it’s both a productive and fun use of my spare time, it will make my surroundings even more enjoyable, and I can totally show it off! I’m redoing my dresser! It involves a poster, paints and quotes. It’s turning out to be far more work than I anticipated (that always seems to be how these things go), but I’m already really pleased with it.
I’m feeling a lot better about where I’m at with my house hunt. And this thought breakdown is proving pretty useful in a whole bunch of areas in my life! “But what do you really want??” THAT is the big question.
by McKinnleyMay 15thThat’s What Friends Are For
There’s a direct correlation between the people you spend the most time with and your own life. If you’re surrounded by optimistic friends and family, you’re much more likely to be positive. If most of your besties are overweight, studies indicate that it’s highly likely you will also be carrying extra pounds. If the majority of people you interact with are motivated and successful, chances are very good that you will have similar drive and success.
For better or for worse, consciously or not, your friends have a major impact on who you are and what you do. So if we’re in the business of making friends, shouldn’t we set our sights on the best and the brightest? What kind of people do you want influencing your life? What characteristics do you want to build in yourself? Those are the types of friends you want to draw into your circle, are they not?
My sister and I took a painting class a couple of years ago. ** Turned out that the teacher was this uber foxy Brazilian gal. As the course progressed I learned that not only was my teacher beautiful, but she was talented, driven, generous, motivated, kind, smart, successful and really REALLY cool. Plus, she was born exactly one day before me! I decided that she and I absolutely needed to be friends.
But I was a little intimidated. She was so beautiful and so cool and seemed to have her life so together. Did she really need a new friend? And would she even want to be friends with someone who was her student? How on earth do you go about asking your teacher to hang out with you?!
I decided to assume that she would indeed want to be friends with me, and to just go for it. So I invited her to a house party I was having. Her reaction was The Best: “You want ME to come to your party?!” She enthusiastically agreed to come, although when the night arrived she was unable to attend. I was a bit disappointed, but that didn’t stop me from inviting her when I had some of my girl friends over a few weeks later. That time she showed up, and we found out we had all sorts of things in common. She also “confessed” how during class she kept thinking how cool me and my sister were, and how she wished she could be friends with us! But she didn’t think it would be appropriate for her to try and hang out with her students, which is why she seemed a bit reserved, and also why she was so thrilled when I invited her out.
Fast forward through coffee dates, art gallery viewings, cooking classes, lots of wandering around town, and a couple of years: Lucky me, I now consider her one of my best friends.
So our fifth and final lesson in making friends, now that we know how to recognize the friendship sparks and how to fan them into flames, is to Be Choosy. It’s not about going all highschool cheerleader on potential friend candidates. It’s about intentionally drawing only the best, brightest, happiest and most supportive people into your life circle, so that through their influence you can become Your best, brightest and happiest! And THAT is what friends are for.
** If you are interested in taking an awesome Fearless Abstract Painting class, or want to purchase some one-of-a-kind artwork, please visit: www.samanthadasilva.com
by McKinnleyMay 3rdI Said Yes!
So there I was, 28 years old, leaving my boyfriend, my job, my hopes of being an actor, to drive across the country in my ’88 Nissan Stanza packed with all my worldly belongings, to a city I swore I’d never live in again, to share a 2 bedroom apartment with my (very generous) sister, go back to school, find a new job and, for all intents and purposes, start a new life.
Totally overwhelming, but for some weird reason I felt light. Hopeful. And I remember giving myself a very clear mental talking to: “McKinnley, if you’re going to be 28 and single and living in a new city and starting over again, you need to say yes. To jobs, to opportunities, to dates, to friends… Just say Yes.”
And so I did. I said yes to my first office job. I said yes to activities. I said yes to baby showers. I said yes to parties and hang outs and concerts and movies. I said yes to dates. I told myself I would go on a date with anyone who was nice, brave enough to ask, and who wasn’t totally creepy. I even said yes when it was -30C and it meant leaving my warm house, scraping ice off my windshield, bundling up in a zillion layers, and driving 25 minutes while scraping ice off the inside of my windshield! (The Stanz wasn’t the most comfortable of vehicles by that point in her life)… and then repeating the process later to return home.
Ok, so saying Yes may seem like the opposite of being proactive, but it’s really just another side of it. I realized that being near my sisters, going to school, being a new face in certain places and getting a new job would all inherently bring new people and situations into my life, I just needed to be both brave enough and open enough to say yes. To everything. Sure, someone else was doing the asking, but saying yes definitely required me to DO, because I had to follow up on whatever I’d agreed to! It would have been a heck of a lot easier and more comfortable to say No sometimes, but that wasn’t in the game plan.
Because I was saying yes so often, it wasn’t long before I started becoming a lot more confident in being the one to initiate.
Much to my surprise, I began hosting Sunday night dinner parties. It was surprising because it required me to make plans, invite people, make sure everyone got along and enjoyed themselves, and also cook! None of those were skills that I was inherently blessed with, in fact every single one of those tasks were things that at one point would have given me serious anxiety.
But my secret weapon was a really good friend I’d made. It turned out that she and I made a great team, which helped both of us meet a lot more people and do more cool things than either of us likely would have done on our own. She had a beautiful loft apartment that I never wanted to leave, so it only made sense to try and find excuses to spend more time in it – it was perfect for dinner parties. Plus I was meeting so many people from different areas, but I wanted to start hanging out with more than one person at a time – hello, dinner parties! And because I was inviting people that I truly enjoyed, it only made sense that they would also enjoy each other, so it became less about worlds colliding and more of a merger. Add to that the fact that my friend was a brilliant host, which left me free to scrape together the food and just enjoy myself, while she focused on the guests and their comfort. Her being there to smooth things over definitely made me feel a lot more comfortable and confident in having those Sunday dinners.
If you’ve never hosted a dinner party, it’s an adventure I suggest you try. There’s something about being in someone’s house, eating food they’ve prepared for you with their own hands, and sitting around their table with no distractions that really brings a quicker and stronger sense of connection.
So if you’re one for taking notes, Friend-Making Lessons Number 3 and 4 are as follows:
SAY YES!!! (Duh)
And Find Someone To Tag Team With. Maybe it’s someone you’ve known forever or perhaps it’s someone you’ve just been introduced to, but they’ve got a skill you’re a little bit jealous of. Utilize them and their skills, and pretty soon you’ll both have double the fun and double the friends!
I’m the cook, R’s the salad maker, J is the hostess with the mostess, E is the photographer, and S and J are providing the conversation.
Friends from 3 different cities, all together under one glorious roof!